hotel room ftw
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize