Your mouth is God's brothel.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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