How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
