you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
