I just pynch a tree in the face
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
