Can Purell be used as lube?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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