Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
