my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
