I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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