dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
