the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
