I hate your face
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
