I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
