I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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