your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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