I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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