All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
