i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
