there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
