u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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