I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
