I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
