If that was your dad, he is hot
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
