I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
