Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
