My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
