I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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