I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize