There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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