exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
