To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
