she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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