This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize