Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry kyrtthehyrt hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(301): View more from Maryland

White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.

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(210): View more from Texas

I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up

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(701): View more from North Dakota

entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he thanks me after handjobs.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

you found the perfect man.

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(949): View more from California

I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.

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(703): View more from Virginia

This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.

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(276): View more from Virginia

I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(

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