meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
