Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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