I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
