Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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