Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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