i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
