is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I think i got beer on your cat.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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