oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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