It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We are two peas in an std pod
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
