I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Bang-toberfest begins!!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
