we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
