btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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