We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
