it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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