Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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