u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
