I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
