I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
