I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
