Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
