Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
