thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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