This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
