i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
