My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
