she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
third nipple confirmed
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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