Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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